A Closing Hymn

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Notre Dame Cathedral in District One, Saigon

I have found such peace in my Sunday morning routines. I “sleep in,” which in this country means I wake up at 7:30 am rather than my usual 6:00 am wake up call. After breakfast with my homestay family, I hop on a motorbike and head to the Notre Dame Cathedral in District One for mass in English. My host family is Buddhist but has made sure that I have access to mass every Sunday morning. The first weekend with them, my older host brother drove me around to visit several churches I could go to. They don’t come with me but as soon as I come back home they are patiently waiting for me to tell them about the service.

This Sunday morning, I woke up feeling a little lonely. During the Summer, my family sits in our normal pew at our hometown parish. At my college, I have my huge church network and am never able to attend mass without knowing at least twenty people. It is a community that has helped me be able to grow in my faith. However, in Vietnam it has been a faith community of two beings: me and God.

As I sat in a pew by myself but surrounded by local people and tourists from all over the world. I was immediately at peace, as hundreds of voices begin worshiping together. I remembered that no matter if it is a congregation in Ho Chi Minh City, Loudonville NY, or Marlborough CT, I am in the presence of brothers and sisters who are all there to do what I am there to do.

Maybe it is because I’m in Asia so everything I experience is cool and exciting, but mass here is always perfect. I leave feeling ready to take on the week of new experiences, whatever this study abroad experience throws at me. Every week, whatever the mass is about usually can relate to my life at the time, perfectly. You know those moments where you just want to shout to God, “Okay, I get it. I hear you loud and clear.” Where He is speaking so clearly to you directly and there’s no way to pretend you aren’t hearing it. His timing is perfect and He tells me exactly what I need to hear. As the choir started singing the closing hymn, the words on the television screen spoke so deeply to my 20 year old soul.

“There’s a longing in our hearts for love we only find in you, our God.”

So much of my study abroad experience is about learning about independence. I needed an adventure that would allow me to find myself, connecting with me after loosing touch of that over the past two years. The concept of this closing hymnal lyric is something that I am constantly trying to reflect on, wrapping my mind around the greatness and power that this line demonstrates.

My experience in Vietnam has taught me that I am so much more than who I hang out with, what my relationship status is, and what my weekend social obligations are. I used to put too much stress on finding love in places and people that left me feeling more empty.

At the youngest age my parents taught me that God loves me and I love God. It was a simple equation that I could repeat back, but never took time to grasp the concept. I think it is so difficult to understand because it is an overwhelming concept and idea of love. While away from my family & friends, I have felt the unconditional love of the Father in the strength that he gives me each day. It is beautiful to discover what real love feels like, looks like, and exemplifies. If you ever need a reminder, just look at the cross!

Last year I was not able to comprehend this idea of love. I thought I knew what it was and what it would look like. To be honest, I still don’t always know what real, authentic love looks like. However, Vietnam and my time here has allowed me to prayer and discern unconditional love in a different level. We want a love that we can only receive from God the Father and when you recognize that, it is a beautiful thing. I don’t think I am there yet. There are days where I think I have a hold on the idea but there are other days where I find myself settling for a love less than God wants for us.

I surely don’t have this down but since arriving in Vietnam February 1st, I set goals to better understand God’s love and how I find God’s love in others. I thought it would be a good time to do this since  I was going to be away from all relationships: family and friends. It’s a challenge figuring this out with no guidance from others but I needed the definition of love to be discovered from my relationship with God, and God alone.

I am thankful for the prayers that my family & friends back home have offered up for me. This process would be a lot harder without them. I continue to pray for guidance, answers, and peace in this process.

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I have a thing for faith based tattoos I guess?

Finally, one more religious update from Vietnam: I got my third tattoo (Are we surprised?) It is a constant reminder that God is by my side through this journey and in every journey before and moving forward.

Sorry (but not really) for another “Jesus-y” blog post. It’s the most meaningful aspect of my study abroad experience. I can’t talk about this journey without talking about Him!

Happy Sunday Blog Followers!

In His name,
EKH